you smile, i smile, the world smiles
by class A daydreamer
Summary: A finnternal look at Atlanta Georgia's military base.


**you smile, i smile, the world smiles**

**Summary: A finnternal look at Atlanta Georgia's military base. **

* * *

He doesn't want to be known as the half assed guy who cries himself to sleep every night. He is though. Every where, he sees her. When he sings in the shower, he abruptly stops because he can't sing without hearing her voice comment. _A little sharp at the chorus, you lack the emotion Finn! _He doesn't sing much anymore either way, so what's the point?

He has two friends, Jason and Scott. Scott's right here from Atlanta, but he hates it here. He thinks it's a small town. All Finn really wanted to do was shake him and ask him whether he'd ever heard of Lima freaking Ohio. He doesn't though, because he can't risk getting sent back home. Jason's pretty cool, but he hates the army. He's really scared, maybe even more afraid of the army then Finn is.

He never wanted to do this. He was gonna be a teacher, with his girlfriend Jennifer. He showed him a picture once. She's pretty, with crystal blue eyes and mousy brown hair. He can't help but think that he'd rather her hair was a dark brown with chocolate coloured eyes instead. Finn wished that he could flash a picture of Rachel, maybe that one of them at Regionals, where their clutching a trophy, her eyes bright and hair disheveled. She's holding him like he's the only thing in the world. He felt so special.

He can't, because their relationship is god knows what. He really screwed it up that day, their label was so unclear, he was sure even Kurt would have trouble placing them, and Kurt's a relationship god! So he decided not to focus on the screwed parts and focus on the happy parts of 'Finchel.' He likes that name. Maybe it would work for their kid's names! (Naw, Rachel already made it clear that James and Christina were her pics) And anyway, they hadn't talked for, what was it now, eight weeks?

He wakes up early now. Like, Rachel early, and that's early. He's drill sergeant LaRousse is french with a funny accent. One dude made the mistake of asking why he wasn't fighting with the frenchies. He was discharged dis-honorably with two charges. One for being a smart ass, the other was for harassment. Finn knew that Rachel would reprimand him for taking it seriously, but all Finn really cared about was how funny it sounded when he said smart ass with the accent.

Finn's used to being yelled at. By his Mom, Quinn, Puck, Rachel, Sam, Mr. Schue, Tina, Mike, Artie, Sugar, Joe, Kurt, Burt, honestly, the list goes on and on. He knows how to handle it know, he has balls you know. He takes the exercise in stride. He was captain of the football team (even though it only happened because Mickey Smith, the ex quarterback broke his leg and jaw in a nasty tackle)

He's scared being deported. Afghanistan is so scary right now, and he knows that he sounds like a five year old but he is scared. He really is. He wants Rachel, and Mr. Schue, and his Mom and the Glee club and his home. He wants it so bad, but if he goes back, what the hell will he have to face? His Mom would look like she'd been to hell and back for sure, and Kurt might slap him.

Rachel will be in New York without him.

For the first time in days, he remembers that she'll be alone in a rusty old room with god knows who as her roomie. For all she knew, he could be a forty year old pedo! He's scared, really scared now. For him, for her, for everyone because it's like this whole god damn world wants him to die and suffer a horrible painful death while watching his family die.

He gets a gun, and he names it Rachel. It's sleek and brown, which of course makes him think of her. It's shiny (again he thinks of her) and it's from Star factories, (again, her) It's beautiful, and he's surprisingly good at shooting. Sgt. LaRousse told him to calm down and save it for the field, but he has so man y issues that he has to let out, you know? He'll take as many outlets as he can.

He's polishing Rachel when it happens. The damn trigger was right there, and he just had to touch it. He screamed, and cried, and begged for Rachel. Jason handed him his gun, but he swatted it away and screamed for her to come back because he needs her! He needs her so damn much. They remove the bullet, and he's fine. But not fine enough to go back to the army.

He's okay. He did something, and he's proud of it. But all he wants now is Rachel. He's got no future except for her, and he's not going to face it without her. He can't right now though. He wants to figure out himself before he sees her so he can confirm that something has changed. So he thinks that he's gonna hitchhike around Georgia, and visit Rachel when he's ready.

Yeah, he can do that.


End file.
